Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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