What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Everyone says I win the strip club
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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