well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
