Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
