$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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