You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
