Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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