I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
