OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I am mentally ready for anal.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
