five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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