All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Randomize
