I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
