I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
