dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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