I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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