I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
then he tried to convert me to islam
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
you made out with another girl for some wings
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
