this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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