It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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