Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
