i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
