At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
