What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
