I love black thongs
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I had to cum in my sink.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
