Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
