I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
