so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
