Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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