i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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