Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
