he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
