There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You pole danced in your parka.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
