all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
