the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
