sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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