reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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