But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
