I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
