yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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