Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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