Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
