Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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