I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
