Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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