Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
