SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
