Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
