last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
