As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
