We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
being pregnant is like rehab
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
