If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize