i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
