Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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