I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
